Naval Letter Chapter 8

 Date: 5/4/21

Day & Time: Mon 21:44


Dear Rabbit, 


Have you noticed I changed (or removed) the salutation? 


Take a guess why I took it out...


You guessed it right! Too formal, after writing to you for so long, I dont think we need to be so formal in this letter since its between you and me. 


Today, smabal fried rice, simple meal accopanied with chicken nuggets and meatballs. 


And while I was doing my own learning, I came to thought of the the word 'husstle'. 


Do I really need to hustle so hard until I cant enjoy the small little things in life? 


After yesterday's watch on the movie summary of 'Soul', it made me think, am I too focused on that ONE thing? 


Copywriting.


And losing out the other detials of life. And watch lost leblanc video on finding purpose. 


"money and future is greatly related" 


Its like there is so many thing going in my mind that make me super confused yet leading to only one path, finding my own tempo in life. 


In the area of business, I need to find my area of expertise, and thats where my self boubts of my ability in copywriting became super stong, I told myself not to compare, but I still do, and that is a little voice right there. 


Its a constant battle everyday between the higher self and lower self, but what do I really what to acheive after army? 


My answer will not change, leave singapore. 


Too much memory that makes me feel pulled, dragged and negative emotion invested, do I want it? 


No.


RIght now im sitting in frount of my laptop, looking at my surrounding where quralles, smashing, slamming, shouting, anger, fear, blaming, happeed before years ago, 


I still can hear, see and even feel, its strong. And I dont want to live in this environment for the rest of my life, 


I dont want to see my family members everyday, too much for me to handle. 


And my programming from my past has greatly affected my confidence and self esteem, 


But I would want to build a safety net for my future family so they won't have to suffer what I suffered. 


But this journey is Fking tough. 


I want to give up, the thought of giving up has occured many times. 


But I still continue the journey, 


Beleiving that I will build my own safety net, strong and sturdy. 


That's it for today, 


*Pipe To Carry On*

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